Wait and See

annie, one of the bravest people i know...

The past few months have been something of an adventure. Michael and I traveled to Florida in early June and at the beginning of the trip I thought I simply pulled a muscle in my back. No big deal. Happens on a somewhat regular basis. I thought this was normal... don't most people pull muscles occasionally?

Apparently not as occasionally as I do.

In the past when injuries like this happened, it seemed to heal quickly. I would be in pain for a few days, but generally it would get better and life would go on.

Except this time.

The pain didn't stop. It simply ached. All the time. After therapeutic massage... after using an entire bottle of Tylenol over the course of several weeks... pain.

Finally after dealing with the pain for nearly a month on the advice of a friend I visited a chiropractor. X-rays of my back revealed the root cause of the pain. A curvature in my lower back along with my hips being unevenly aligned by several inches. The combination of these two problems caused the muscles in my lower back to be overexerted by trying to act as my spine and straighten my back.

The problems have been there for years and over the course of continually re-injuring the muscles around my lower spine, my back was finally at a point of needing serious help to heal.

The journey of healing.

I've learned a lot of things in the past few months. I've learned that some types of pain cannot (and should not) be fixed by a pill. I've learned that healing takes time. It can be incredibly frustrating. It can also be very humbling.

It also reminds me greatly of God's refining power. God never promised we would not be in pain. He never promised a life free of discomfort.

Pain can also be a time of rejuvenation. A time of realizing what's important. A time of appreciation.

Pain can also bring out emotions that I'm not fond of. Feeling sorry for myself. Being selfish. Being constantly frustrated. Feeling the "why me's."

Visiting Annie

Then came the weekend to visit Annie. Annie is a 2nd cousin, but we've always been close. She's nearly 15 years older than I am, but we could easily be sisters. I love Annie. I can laugh with Annie about things other people don't get. We are silly. We are fun. And we accept each other just the way we are. You're overweight? Me too... no worries there. Had a bad day? Me too... let's laugh about it.

Annie was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. When I called her after finding out on the family grape vine... it was the same old Annie. The same laugh. The same wonderful sense of humor. Annie was having a good day. I can sense her smile over the phone and the phrase that stuck with me? Annie telling me.. "It's just life. Life goes on... and I've got work to do."

Cancer, as awful and hurtful and painful as it would be.... didn't change Annie one bit. She knew she would face painful days, days that hurt, days of "why me", but Annie's foundation is solid. She is a forgiven child of God and Annie still has work to do.

When we visited Annie we were greeted once again with laughter, joy, sadness, frustration, a mirage of feelings. But one thing was certain... our God of all Hope was present. Despite what Annie has been through we are claiming her healing in the name of Christ... because we have work to do.

God's not finished with us yet.

Annie put my pain in perspective. I may have to occasionally deal with back pain for the rest of my life. But I've got work to do. I can't let the pain decide who I am from day to day. Thankfully through prayer, faith, and a good chiropractor who was willing to try many different methods of treatment I've found great relief. I hope you know that no matter what you are going through right now... God's not finished with you yet!




Wait and See
Performed by Brandon Heath

I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I've Been troubled since the day that I got here, troubled to the day I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope, for me yet, because God won't forget, all the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see, he's not finished with me yet, he's not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school. Talked to much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool all right.
I don't know how but I made it through, it's one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.

There is hope, for me yet, because God won't forget, all the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see, he's not finished with me yet, he's not finished with me yet

Still wonerin' why I'm here. Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... He's up to something,
And the farther out I go, I've seen enough to know that I'm not here for nothin'
He's up to somethin'

So here's my time to be a man, follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin' where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems, but singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.

There is hope, for me yet, because God won't forget, all the plans he's made for me
I have to wait and see, he's not finished with me yet, he's not finished with me yet
He's not finished with me yet, He's not finished with me yet"

God teach me to trust you
Teach me to follow you
Teach me about you
God bless us
God lead us